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Poem:
You drive me mad with temptations
Sending my mind crazy with hallucinations
The driving force to my day to day existence
I try not to but every time I have to give into your persistence
I'm trying to forget about you, scratching at my skin
I don't want to let you in
But your there, I'm yearning for your buzz
Once you're in, you help me forget, it all becomes a haze surrounded in a cloudy fuzz
I don't want you but I need you
It's like you're inside my head, you're reading my mind, you knew
I need to end this cycle, I need to get out of this rhythm
I don't want you, I want my freedom
But I need you, where have you gone
It was only an hour ago, but it feels so long
I need you yet again
But you lost me my home evicted by the councilmen
I'm homeless, got nowhere to go
I only took you once, then... I just don't know
I just needed you inside me
Like on my own I couldn't be free
Look at my life now
You weren't a bulldozer you were a plough
Turned my whole life upside down day by day
I was on the straight and narrow but you told me to stray
Now it's time to get back
Even though you put everything I once had under attack
I'm going to build it all up, but you won't knock it down again
Forever an addict, but I'll fight it... amen
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"forever and addict" I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI like your accent. ;) It's so... foreign (swoon).
ReplyDeleteThis coming from a girl in the States, o'course.
I liked your performance, and it's quite a different thing to read your poetry out loud. As a slam poet (that's what we call it in my part of the States) myself, I'd like to offer some advice:
1. Slow. Down. Half the poem was over before I realized you had started reading. Take your time, and focus instead on putting feeling into the words.
2. Take advantage of punctuation marks. Write your poetry using all the same marks as a piece of prose, but feel free to break all the other rules of writing. This will help you to slow down and will also help you place emphasis on the right words; basically it'll inject a little more life into your poetry. In performance, you seemed so focused on finishing the poem that you almost didn't breathe. Stop and smell the roses as you're reading. Breathe in the scent of lavender, all that stuff.
3. Don't read. I find that if I memorize my poetry I have an easier time making it interesting to listen to. Use your hands to add emphasis to certain lines. Look at the camera and treat it as your audience, rather than at the... whatever you were looking at.
4. And most of all, just keep doing what you're doing. You've got great stuff!
-Alexa