Poem: My Point Of View

I'm stuck in this nightmare
Struggling to act like I don't care
You got yourself into this mess
I wish I could pretend that I couldn't careless

I've tried helping you time and time again
But there's no helping you
It's not a question of if but when
It's almost like you can't help the things you do
Acting out like you have no clue
Especially about how much your hurting everyone around you

I wish you could see that what you're doing isn't right
And that you could appreciate why we've all put up such a fight
Your not only damaging yourself
Through ruining your health
But your making it hard to love you
When you do all the things you do

I wish there was something I could do to stop it all
You don't know what its like to watch you fall
Deeper into that blac khole that takes over all of you
I just wish you knew
What all of this does to me
And then maybe you would see
What its like living this life from my point of view



- Esjae xo

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Poem: Never Been So Wrong

Watching the waves crash at the shore
My mind thinks back to when you called me a whore
I did nothing wrong
Apart from wishing to belong
I did everything you asked of me
Even though I could see
How wrong it would be
I always knew that it would surface
But I just didn't realise it would make me feel this worthless

I put my trust in you
And know I have found out exactly what you could do
I never thought that you were capable of this
But I guess I was fooled by your kiss
I thought that with you I could have it all
I never expected that kind of high would be followed by this sort of low
It's strange how I never thought I could get something this wrong
Especially after so long




- Esjae xo

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Poem: My Biggest Fear

My body is filled with the regret
Of the things my mind longs to forget
I don't want to be this person anymore
I wish I could close this one open door
My mind constantly thinks it over
If only I could find a four leaf clover
Then I could wish for all this to disappear
So that I wouldn't have to live in this constant fear
Of the times your near
Or of the nights I'm on my own
I might now be full grown
But some days I wake with the fear that I did when I was eight years old
So many times I'm overcome by the thoughts of the story I've rarely told
I try to bury it deep inside of me
So that I can become the person I've always longed to be


- Esjae xo

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Poem: What Do You Do

Love happens when you least expect it to
But what do you do
When love deserts you
Leaving you all alone
Without a place for your heart to call home

We were once one
You used to be my personal sun
Brightening my everyday
Without questioning what I had to say

Now we are two
There's me, then you
Walking separate paths
Traveling to journeys



Esjae x

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Poem: Worry

The tear running down your face
Followed by another and another
Lost without a trace
Could there still be a chance of return?
Your silence is like a cruel beating
The worry I feel is indescribable
One day I hope you will realise
And that you will understand the pain I feel

The blood running down your hand
Drip after drip
This isn’t the escape you wanted
But somehow it is making things clearer
Hiding your fear
A new person standing before me
Why can’t it be simple?
Why is it this way?
Why can’t I help?
 

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Poem: The Long Goodbye

This is where my heart lies
Right here in this moment
We're stuck for words,
Neither of us know how to say our goodbye's
Reminiscing over the gifts that were sent,
The hours that we spent together
Promising each other our forever

Never going to forget what you've done for me
Never going to forget the dreams you made me believe
Never going to forget the world you made me see

We're trying to say the words our hearts long to speak
We're taking separate paths because our journey together looks bleak

This is the long goodbye
In my head I know why
But my heart just longs for us to lie

 

Let me know what you think

-Esjae x

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Poem: Is It Out Of Place?

Can’t you see the tears running down my face?
Don’t they look out of place?
Can’t you see the bruises on my skin?
Your only sin
Can’t you see the pain in my eyes?
It shouldn’t be a surprise

Raise your hand
Turn it into a fist
Strike me hard

Day and night
Do it at your will
I can’t change it

One day you’ll see the pain in my eyes
One day you’ll see the tracks on my cheeks
One day I won’t be blue anymore

Let me know what you think?

- Esjae x

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