Poem: When I Don’t Belong

I know when I don't belong
That's why right now I'm contemplating getting gone
I don't want to be here
If you don't want me near
I've always tried to do my best by you
All I ever wanted was appreciation for the things I do

Instead you throw it back in my face
Telling me that I don't belong in this place
That I mean nothing to you and I'm just a waste of space

I don't need telling twice
I've tried playing nice
Even after you pushed me away
I still tried to stay
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do
But all I wanted to was be there for you
And in my head I just knew
That you wouldn't be able to do it alone
I've left, I've gone, but if you need me just pick up the phone
It's not that I don't care
You just made me feel like I didn't belong there

I hope one day you'll see
That you'll always mean something to me

 

- Esjae xo

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Back to Wednesday Night

Wednesday Night I went out with all (most of) the play bard staff from work. It was a sign of the end of the summer and me and Rachael going off to uni! My boss, May, picked me up and drove me, Danielle and Becka to Frankie and Benny’s. May bought us all a drink and we waited for the others to turn up.

All of us, after we ate.

Tasha, Me and May.

Shots.

We went on to a club called ‘Nusha’ and a few of us crammed in for a picture.

The lovely barman filled the bar with shots for us all. Then all of us apart from Danielle and Lucy decided to head off into town to carry on partying! The rest of us went off home to bed…

- Esjae x

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Poem: I Don’t Care Anymore

This love is like a yo-yo
One minute it’s a yes, then the next it’s a no go
Now that you’ve got me questioning whether I should stay
Or leave the bed you’ve made to lay

The rumour has it you’ve been playing around
Now I don’t know about her, but are you sure
That you want to be sneaking about without making a sound
Or will you be begging me for another chance once more

Now I’ve packed my bag
And headed out through the door
I don’t care if it’s her or another slag
You’re sleeping with anymore

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Poem: We’re Becoming To Be

I know I’m not perfect
But I do my best to get as close as I can
You say I don’t need to change
I see the doubt of you own words in your eyes
Our relationship used to be fine
I knew one hundred percent you were mine
But lately people made me question how we feel
And if our love is real
To them we can’t be
Anything more than average
But I thought we were perfect
And nothing less
It was only you I wanted to impress
People started talking
Then my mind started walking
Going round and round
Thinking about
All the little things you said
The looks you give the other girls
The distance you’re putting between you and me
Maybe it’s just me
Or what they’re saying we’re becoming to be

Tell me they’re wrong
And it’s in my heart you belong
Say things will always be perfect
Between you and me
Say there’s no need to question it
Because our hearts are a perfect fit
It all I want to hear from your lips
A comfortable silence
A little reassurance from you
Once in a while

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Poem: I'm Living My Truth Without Your Lies

You think you know it all
You think you know me
But if I tell you the truth you would stop and stall
If you open your eyes then maybe you would see
That I'm not longer going to
Play your games
Pretend that to me you're being true
When really you have 101 different love flames
You maybe 'Mr Perfect'
But really you're 'Mr Disrespect'

You haven't got the right to say to me
Who I should be
When you have me confused with 'Miss Last Night'
It's too late for you to protest, to put up a fight
You lost that right
When you didn't pick up last night
I told you from the beginning
You thought you were winning, when all you were doing was sinning

No one will and has ever made a fool out of me
From now I'm living my truth without your lies
I'm walking out, and I won't be coming back, you'll see
There won't be anymore tears from these eyes

I'm stronger now that I've woken up to see who you really are
You just another Mr Want It All with a sports car
I'm no longer going to be 'Miss Day Time'
While you sneak off to see 'Miss Night Time'
You my think you know everything
But in reality you know nothing

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Poem: Unfaithful Lies And Crazy Accusations

We’ll be sat at the dinner table
Trying to hold a conversation
But the foundations of this love are unstable
Unfaithful lies and crazy accusations are the foundations
Won’t be long until the first plate smashes to the floor
And I’m heading to the door
The tears on your face can’t bring me back
Can’t change it, no that’s a fact
So many times we’ve tried to have this talk
But I’ve had enough and I’m going to walk
 

What do you think?

-Esjae x

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Poem: This Should Be The End

Save me from falling
I don’t want my heart to be calling,
After you
Remember the times you cried
Accusing me of things, saying I had lied
But it wasn’t me, was it
This should be the end of us shouldn’t it?
Cursing my name
But it’s you with the unfaithful fame
Don’t be throwing accusations
Especially when we’ve had too many confrontations
I’m ready to leave
Because I just can’t believe
That you have strayed
While my heart has stayed
Don’t take me for a mug
As on our love I have pulled the plug

What do you think?

-Esjae x

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Poem: The Truth

You want things to be right
We talk all night
But deep inside
I know we can’t hide
The truth that we want to deny
Like two pieces of a puzzle that just won’t fit
No matter how hard we try
We just can’t lie
It always ends the same way
What we think is right
They know is wrong
We can’t hide the fact we want to deny
 

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Poem: Sorry For Breaking It To You This Way

I never asked to fall in love
I’d already given up
Don’t need an angel from above
I’m all out of luck
I’m not willing to try
It will only be a waste of time
Sorry if it’s not what you what you want to hear
But I just don’t want you near
I’m sorry for breaking it to you in this way
But there wasn’t anything else for me to say
There’s not much either of us could do
I just don’t love you

What do you think of this one?

-Esjae x

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Poem: Small Steps

Music plays in my head like a movie
You’re the soundtrack to my life
It’s never going to be easy
But you’ve always been around to save me
Now you’ve caught me just before I fall
You hand grips mine
Taking small steps
Don’t know who I’d be without you
Your face decorates my dreams
Your hand guides me down the street
My heart won’t beat without you
I can’t take a breath without you

Take a step back,
See who you’ve made me
Take a step beside me,
See now your guiding me
Take a step in front,
See your going now

What do you think?

-Esjae x

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Poem: Separate Ways

I know I’ve got to do this
But boy your love I’m going to miss
We can’t work it out anymore
Because my heart is shattered in pieces on the floor
We agreed to take it slow
That way our love would be guaranteed to grow
We couldn’t be more wrong
Proved in your heart wasn’t where I belong
You couldn’t even remember the name of our song
Don’t tell me to calm down
I’m not even asking you to stick around
Didn’t think in our home it would rain
Filled with screaming, heartache and pain
While I let my heart and brain make a mends
We can’t even stay friends
It’s time to go our separate ways

 

What do you think?

- Esjae

PS. Don’t forget to download my free poetry ebook in PDF form, - ‘Words From A Teenage Mind’ from the following link:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HTYFUHE7

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Poem: New Directions

I know things won’t change
So I guess for now its good bye
One day we’ll meet again
Please don’t blame yourself
Especially as this is something I have to do
For some this may seem an easy option
But for me I can’t believe that it’s come to this

I’ll say good bye for now
As I don’t want to walk away forever
One day you’ll understand
Our love isn’t ending
It’s just taking a new direction
Now we’ll be strong, moving on
Let’s just go on in our different directions

What do you think?

-Esjae x

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Poem: The Long Goodbye

This is where my heart lies
Right here in this moment
We're stuck for words,
Neither of us know how to say our goodbye's
Reminiscing over the gifts that were sent,
The hours that we spent together
Promising each other our forever

Never going to forget what you've done for me
Never going to forget the dreams you made me believe
Never going to forget the world you made me see

We're trying to say the words our hearts long to speak
We're taking separate paths because our journey together looks bleak

This is the long goodbye
In my head I know why
But my heart just longs for us to lie

 

Let me know what you think

-Esjae x

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Poem: Jailbird Love

I can listen to you lie
But every time another part of me will die
And another tear I will cry
Just like a gunshot to my heart
A bullet to my brain
But by your side I still remain

I’m told I deserve better
More than a jailbird and his monthly letter
Locked away for his violence
Without him around the house is filled with a deathly silence
No crashing plates
No drug taking mates
Just me and my bruises

I know people think you’re abusive
I know people think I’m stupid
Maybe even deluded
How can you help who you fall for?
But I can’t withstand this love anymore

I am stronger than this
Not taken in by your kiss
I’ll tell it to you straight
But I’ve left it too late

Now I am the reason you’re in your cell
Accompanied to my farewell
Maybe it was just a possessive love
Now I can only be represented by a white dove

 

Let me know what you think.

- Esjae x

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Poem: I’m Glad We’re Through

Your love is like a fire
Once it was burning and strong, built to last
Now it’s dying, dwindling in its ashes
All I want is for a way to blow the smoke away
A brand new start
Is that too much to ask for?

You send crazy thoughts through my mind
Someone I once needed so much
Turned into someone I can’t even trust
As the words tumble from your mouth
I’ve leant to let them just slip passed

I deserve more
You’ve left my heart shattered on the floor
I believed in you
But there wasn’t anything you could do
One thought in your mind,
It wasn’t love
Now all is said and done,
It’s just the memories left behind

I’m not tied to you
You’re a closed door
I’ve found someone who gives me more
And now I’m happy to say I’m glad we’re through

 

What do you think?

- Esjae x

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Lyrics - Chorus / Hook

Daddy, why weren't you ever around
When I needed you, you couldn't be found
You'd rather be out placing another bet
What happened to seeing me today, did you forget?

 

Another short hook or chorus that I wrote today

- Esjae x

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Lyrics #2–Chorus/ Hook

Chorus:
Never thought, you'd be one to walk away
Never thought, you'd give up so easily
Never thought, you'd turn your back on me
Never thought, you'd leave me on my own


I’ve been brainstorming a few ideas for some lyrics today, this is one of the short hooks/ choruses I cam up with.

Let me know what you think

-Esjae x

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